簡(jiǎn)短英文笑話大全爆笑
冷笑話作為一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象，越來(lái)越受到大家的關(guān)注，尤其在網(wǎng)絡(luò)、雜志、微博、電影上十分盛行。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理了簡(jiǎn)短的爆笑英文笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)短的爆笑英文笑話篇一
Change of Plan
臨時(shí)改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enterthe army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had alltheir teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經(jīng)聽(tīng)人說(shuō)軍中不收沒(méi)有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truckdriver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊(duì)伍，可是有一個(gè)大塊頭、滿身毛發(fā)而且臭味難當(dāng)?shù)目ㄜ囁緳C(jī)插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he hadno teeth.
當(dāng)法蘭克排到隊(duì)伍的前頭時(shí)，他對(duì)檢查的班長(zhǎng)說(shuō)他沒(méi)有牙齒，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他張開嘴巴，接著用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你沒(méi)牙齒，不用當(dāng)兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接著輪到卡車司機(jī)，士官說(shuō)：“你有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡車司機(jī)說(shuō)道：“我患有嚴(yán)重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it aroundthoroughly,
班長(zhǎng)要那個(gè)家伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門轉(zhuǎn)了一整圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你的情形很嚴(yán)重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再輪到佛烈德時(shí)，班長(zhǎng)又問(wèn)：“那你的問(wèn)題是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝視著他的食指，佛烈德答道：“沒(méi)什么問(wèn)題，班長(zhǎng)，我一點(diǎn)問(wèn)題也沒(méi)有。”
簡(jiǎn)短的爆笑英文笑話篇二
You Do Have a Problem
你真是有問(wèn)題了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄對(duì)醫(yī)生說(shuō)明他上廁所有困難。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便嗎?，’醫(yī)生問(wèn)他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六點(diǎn)鐘。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情況如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像時(shí)鐘一樣，我每天準(zhǔn)時(shí)七點(diǎn)鐘上大號(hào)。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那問(wèn)題到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八點(diǎn)鐘才起床。”
簡(jiǎn)短的爆笑英文笑話篇三
Home Sweet Home
還是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科醫(yī)生剛從非洲狩獵回來(lái)。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“這次打獵順利嗎?”同僚問(wèn)道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，實(shí)在太令人失望了，”外科醫(yī)生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也沒(méi)獵殺到，實(shí)際上，還是待在醫(yī)院里比較有成就感。”
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