用英語寫一篇笑話集錦
笑話以一種幽默和嘲笑的方式使人們明白事物的本質(zhì),事物的發(fā)展軌跡和過程,人生的哲理、做人的道理和做人的道德規(guī)范。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來的用英語寫笑話，歡迎閱讀!
用英語寫笑話篇一
向你的煩惱說再見
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位猶太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列隊(duì)進(jìn)入天國之門。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "
那位猶太人對(duì)圣彼得說：“坦白講，能到這里讓我蠻驚訝的，我一輩子一直都受到__的輕視和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我們實(shí)在感到非常遺憾，”圣彼得說，“但我們這里沒有那樣的偏見，這里每個(gè)人都完全平等，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞你就能進(jìn)入天堂?！?/p>
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名猶太人正確地拼出God后，被招入門內(nèi)。接著印第安人走向前說道“圣彼得，我一輩子飽受貧窮和種族歧視的打擊，而且只能住在居留地內(nèi)，我在這里能得到真正的自由嗎?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的煩惱已經(jīng)結(jié)束了，只要拼出God這個(gè)詞，你就能像小鳥一樣自由自在?！?/p>
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照著做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接著那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他說道，“一輩子人們都瞧不起我，不公平對(duì)待我，在這里那些事不會(huì)發(fā)生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "
“當(dāng)然不會(huì)，我的弟兄，我們不會(huì)做那樣的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia這個(gè)詞，天堂之國就是你的了!”
用英語寫笑話篇二
黑人英語
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一對(duì)黑人夫婦已有八個(gè)小孩，而魯拉·梅又懷了第九個(gè)小孩,最后她說服了她先生去做男性絕育手術(shù)。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手術(shù)的早晨，她驚訝地看見她老公穿著禮服，乘坐一輛禮車到不遠(yuǎn)的醫(yī)院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"親愛的，這是怎么一回事啊?魯拉·梅問道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"寶貝，如果你想當(dāng)名大人物的話，就要讓人一看就知道你很重要!"
用英語寫笑話篇三
財(cái)政學(xué)的一課
Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
史密斯是一家建設(shè)公司的經(jīng)理，他正負(fù)責(zé)一個(gè)新工程的招標(biāo)案。第一位投標(biāo)的是一家波蘭公司，他們的代表出價(jià)四十萬元接那個(gè)案子?！八坪鹾芎侠?，”史密斯說?！澳憧刹豢梢越o我一張明細(xì)表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole, " 0, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "
“當(dāng)然沒問題，”波蘭公司代表說道，“二十萬元工資，二十萬元材科費(fèi)?！?/p>
Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.
下一個(gè)出標(biāo)的是美國標(biāo)準(zhǔn)建設(shè)公司，他們以八十萬元競(jìng)標(biāo)。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"
“嗯，這個(gè)價(jià)錢似乎有些偏高，”史密斯說道。"你們有明細(xì)表嗎?"
" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "
“四十萬元材料，四十萬元工資。”
"I'll get back to you. "
“我以后再同你聯(lián)系?！?/p>
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."
最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威茲公司的代表走進(jìn)史密斯辦公室?！耙话俣f元是我們競(jìng)標(biāo)的價(jià)碼，”代表說道。
200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"
“一百二十萬元這個(gè)標(biāo)高得太過分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以給我一張明細(xì)表嗎?"
"No problem," replied the rep. " 0, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks.
“沒有問題，”代表回答道。“四十萬元給我，四十萬元給你，最后四十萬元?jiǎng)t給那家波蘭佬開的公司?！?/p>
用英語寫笑話篇四
聽到那樣真令人難過
A foreign visitor touring the great American West came across an Indian with his ear pressed to the ground.
一位外國游客到美國大西部游覽，碰到一個(gè)印第安人把耳朵緊貼在地上。
"What are you listening for?" heasked.
"你在聽什么呢?"他詢問道。
"Stagecoach pass about half hour ago.
“一輛馬車半小時(shí)前曾經(jīng)過這里?！?/p>
"How can you tell?"
“你怎么知道呢?'’
"Broke my neck. "
“我的脖子被撞斷了?！?/p>
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